Itís been seven years today; I think it really hit me around 4:30 PM PST today because that would have been at 7:30 PM EST, which is when she left this world. Even when I had my traditional sub from subway and my Fuzzy Naval wine cooler that didnít really hit me that she was gone and that it had been seven years. Then again I couldnít go to down to the river here because it was still flooded down there. So I did the best I could with what I had to work with.

But who knew that just a moment in time could really bring it home. That she was gone?

Fate is not without its irony I guess. Or maybe it is just simply karma or the deck of cards or the winds or the writing in the tealeaves or the way the cookie crumbles

Seven years that she has been gone, seven long years what has changed? I still miss her very much I still miss being able to talk to her I still miss being able to go do things with her.

I miss going out and sitting down by the river and eating a dinner at nighttime and talking about things.

It may have been things about the friends or just the events of the day or her book or whatever but I just miss those times I miss being able to see her and hear her

I miss so much about her its hard to believe that time doesnít heal all wounds it just makes them a bit easier they say. But that isnít always true either.

There are some days I think itís to hard to go on some days when I think its to hard to miss her and to want to be with her.

There are times that I wonder how I will face a day not being able to actually bug her and drive her crazy

Then again isnít that what brothers do? To drive their sisterís crazy or as I would actually say to her Crazier since she already had bats in her bell free

But I do miss her deeply There are so many times I just want to pick up the phone and call her and so many times I think I cant wait to tell her about this.

Stupid isnít it? To reach for the phone to call her or to find her on a irc chat somewhere or yahoo or something when you know she isnít going to be there.

But I guess that is what happens when you are used to having someone in your life all the time and then suddenly they arenít there any longer